Thanks for the reply!

What I meant is that he comes home from work, kicks his shoes of in the living room, asks for a coffee, tells me he's hungry, will say something like "haven't you don't anything all day?" If the dishes aren't clean "you've literally sat around all day haven't you?" Again if the house is a bit messy, remember he gets in literally as I'm walking back down from getting the toddler to sleep.

By this point I'm exhausted, I probably haven't been able to eat anything and keep it down, I'm close to tears, all I want is a cup of tea, and to sit down. It just irritates me that he comes home like this.

I'll agree with you, no I don't think he does realise how much this is exhausting me, I half think he thinks I'm milking it. I'm not, I'm not one to complain, I've got a lot of health issues (intracranial hypertension) and that's a big burden to live with, I'm in a pain a lot, and I don't mention it to him unless I'm having a really bad day, close to needing a drain.

He won't learn to cook. Apparently it's not how his mind works. He can't even manage an omelette.