He tells me I over-analyze everything and create problems where there aren't any, but I am now beginning to wonder if maybe some of our other recent problems are a result of this flakiness. Well, it could be a number of things - he could be depressed, ADD, flakey, under stress, or maybe he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. When we first met, he was so over-the-top in love with me immediately and saying how I saved his life and I was the best thing that ever happened to him. He would constantly tell me how amazingly hot I was and take every chance to have sex with me. Because our life goals, interests, senses of imagination and creativity matched so perfectly, I went along with the beautiful whirlwind it was. We had a great time together, and we still do though not in that same intensity.

But in the past year or so, he started flaking out on the prince charming things he'd normally do. He would do anything for me before, and would do anything to make me feel desired and set up romantic moments for us, and he started slacking on that. Stopped wanting to do the things we used to do. Started complaining about always being tired. Started avoiding sex and not looking at me the way he used to. When I asked him to put up my curtains for me, something that he would have been positively OVERJOYED to do 2 years ago, he never did it and grew resentful when I asked him (even though he promised). On our last special date together before I left to travel for a few months, he randomly invited his friends to the bar and ignored me the whole time, then blamed it on me for leaving him to go on a 4-month trip though I promised him we'd stay together and I have been wanting to do this since before I met him. The guy he was at the beginning was def way sweeter; he would have made that special day his #1 priority before.

He has claimed it's all my fault, that he doesn't feel safe with me anymore and that's why he's different. And I'm not saying that I'm not to blame - from the beginning, I was always way more cautious about moving forward than he was - like us becoming bf/gf, and now I'm hesitating when he keeps asking me to move in with him. I guess I had a gut feeling that maybe something wasn't right, even when everything felt amazing otherwise. That has happened in my last relationships, which always results in me being one foot in and one foot out. For example, I always talked about doing a solo trip and finally did it (but I'm coming home now!), and he still seems to be resentful of that and pulled his affection away even further. So I also wonder if it really is me.

But back to the change and the flakiness: At this point, even though he recently visited me for 2 weeks and I'm coming back next week, he hasn't wanted to have sex at all. We haven't had sex in over 3 months (mostly because I've been abroad, but when he came to visit me he said he didn't feel comfortable with me since me leaving had been emotionally damaging to him). After 3 months of not seeing your girlfriend (and I was faithful the whole time and tried to talk to him every day) I would hope you'd want to have sex with me... It's just that I don't see how he could flip from being SO into me, to being so depressed, tired, and irritated after the first 8 months or so. I'm not sure if I can contribute this to his flakiness or not, but I'm beginning to think about all of it together. I have honestly felt unwanted for a year or so, and every time I tell him, he gets upset and says "I'll never be good enough," and "I keep acting this way because you keep bringing it up and you never give me a chance to get better." But I still have no idea what made him pull away like that to begin with - the reasons seem to keep changing over time. First it was his job stress, then it was me being too independent or too critical, then it was his health issues... I can never get a straight answer out of him.