Your assumptions are correct, definitely. In addition to my personal experience as a victim of intimate partner rapes in an abusive relationship. So that, my professional experience, and my gender do inform my perspectives both separately and together.

You ask how I'm concerned - I am concerned because I see your comments as contributing to the minimization of what was done to OP, and I know all too well how minimization - intentional or no - is especially dangerous after an initial assault. You've already discussed some of the themes I'm concerned about with others and I don't wish to have a debate - but the minimization, especially regarding homicide - as well as how you have responded to others who disagree with you.

I know that tensions are running high in threads like this. Many people here have shared their own experiences, and now myself included. There is very little possibility to keep emotions out of comments.

The individuals with whom I've disagreed with regarding DV often sit on a spectrum - the first group are individuals who are willing to listen to me and my views and respect them, and may take them into consideration and acknowledge they have learned something new and will think differently moving forward. The second group respects and listens to my views, but still disagrees with them, which is completely fine. And the third group offers neither respect nor listening and instead uses the tactic of trying to discredit both my professional and personal experiences. I don't say this to demonize you as a male, but more often than not, it has been male commenters who, when I challenge their views on DV, have implied that I must be lying about my experiences - professional and personal - and will use insults and hostility in response.

I see your comments as fluctuating between some of these "responses" in your interactions with other commenters. Personally, I don't think that the name-calling you have used with others is effective, but I also know that others have name-called you. You are young, and that's not a bad thing. I just merely hope that one day, maybe you will recognize what I recognize. But I also know that it's not possible to fully recognize what I do unless you have walked and worked in my shoes.

I will say that I have greatly respected the general politeness with which you have responded to me. I am used to being insulted, threatened with rape, threatened with doxxing, or being told that I am lying when I engage with commenters with whom I disagree - sometimes, though thankfully not mostly.

I also think it's important in discussions like this to acknowledge others' views, and I see you doing some of that with me. You've restated some of what I've shared with you in a way that makes it clear you've actually listened to it, even though you push back against it. That's a good thing.

I am concerned about your views, and that won't change, but I have found it informative to learn from you about why you hold those views. And I respect that you have been courteous to me in sharing those views.