Totally agree. Consult a therapist. Reddit isn't a therapist whatsoever.

With that being said... If it were me, adding to my grief by terminating the pregnancy would,like I said, add to my grief. So, I'd probably hold on to the last bit of my late husband by keeping it and finding a way to make it all work,even if it means moving and starting over with a new job and place for family support. You're gonna need it! It could be a sign from Charles, to keep it, and raise it. I mean has he contacted you from beyond the grave or have you received any signs from him like that his spirit is there? Are you spiritual? What was your first gut reaction when you found out? Was it oh shit I need to get rid of this kid? I know you said you loved the child already so I'm guessing your initial reaction was happiness and love?