Sometimes it’s as easy as spending time reconnecting as a couple and sometimes this takes a lot of work.

If you need to hear a success story on how you can come back from this situation let me spill a novel of what worked in my relationship:

My partner and I have been together 13 years with mismatched sex drives. We went through a phase where life was busy and we weren’t spending time together or connecting beyond being essentially roommates and friends. He would just touch me a certain way and I knew exactly what he was looking for because any other time he wasn’t doing any of that. It was irritating to me and a complete turnoff because it’s not like there was any effort outside of this. We had a long conversation about how he was feeling very similar to you here, but I was feeling like I was living with my best friend and i don’t normally want to have sex with my best friend.

We decided to start taking a set amount of time each day to decompress together and talk about each others day, how we were feeling and what’s going on. He makes time to cook nice dinners so I don’t have to. We split house work a bit more evenly now. At the time we set a specific date night once a week that can’t be changed or interrupted for things like friends, work, etc. It wasn’t always fancy dinners and cheesy stuff, most of the time we did fun things we both enjoyed. We made a genuine effort to bring back intimacy outside of sex like cuddling, kissing, hand holding whenever we could without the expectation someone was getting some. When he hit lulls or rough patches, we talk about it now instead of letting it fester or assuming the other knows what’s going on in our heads. Honestly, things for us fell into place after that. I’m still more LL than he is, but because of the genuine effort from him and ways we’ve strengthened our relationship make it much easier for me to make more of my own efforts because to be clear, I wasn’t doing my part before this either.

Situations like this can change and it can work out. Some people need more guidance and help and a counselor or therapist can help guide that conversation to help one another open up and be honest. There is a possibility to come back from this situation. It’s not so easy to come back from the betrayal of cheating. Communication and honesty is always key. Good luck.