Hi, I currently work as a therapist and have a pretty significant grief therapy experience. First of all I am so sorry that this happened to you, it really fucking sucks, and its going to take time for you to process this loss. No matter what the circumstances, your brother was a good person and there is no doubt he should be honored as such. You are a strong person, and you will make it through this, lean on your support system, and take the time to heal.

Your fiancee's friend is a dick, no way around it. Your fiancee also should be more understanding of how you're feeling, yes. However, I am reading a lot on here about people saying negative things about your him, even going as far to compare his actions to that of his foul mouthed friend. While I do think he should have been more sympathetic about you not wanting to go, he's in a tough spot too. I'm putting myself in his shoes and I can't imagine what he has been going through as well. Watching the person you love the most go through the grieving process is terribly painful and awkward and confusing. I'm sure there are days when he selfishly wishes you would snap out of this and be your own self again. Is that selfish? Yes, but he's human and thats a natural feeling. If he has supported and loved you throughout this process and this is his first slip up give him some time to explain himself and why he may have reacted this way. I do not think this is a deal breaker, this is a tough time and if you both rely on each other you will come out of this a strong, united front.

As I said I am a therapist so if you'd like to PM me with any questions or anything you want to talk about, feel free. I also am super glad to read that you are in therapy yourself. You're taking the right steps to heal and, with time, you will feel better.