I mean that made all of us laugh but it is the truth. A man that lies and cheats and is always forgiven will continue to do so. Honest he's in a relationship with her, you're the side chick that's always gonna be there at this point. Make sure you understand that. He keeps coming back to you not because he loves you, but because he knows he can have you and you won't do anything. Big difference. Seen this millions of times, until you grow a backbone you will continue to be the doormat. I have had to tell women flat out things like hey this is just sex for me, or I'm not romantically interested in you but this can be physical, etc etc. Then I notice they have feelings, I tell them, they say their fine, so I keep sleeping with them. Guess who always winds up hurt (hint .. IT ISN'T ME). And at least I'm honest with them, although I do see the scumbag nature of continuing to sleep with them, but hey we are all adults in our 30s and 40s, when I warn you and you still want to continue to do it, in my book that's on you. Sadly your husband isn't even that honest with you and he's gaslighting you and you're still around. Like he's a total scumbag. You've wasted enough years on him, time to move on. Let her have him, she already does anyway. She's definitely more in control of the situation and of him than you are.