My[26M] SiL[20F] just quit her job to stay at home and "better herself." Wife[30F] and I are at our wit's end.

I don't know your sister and I don't know if there are comorbidities in play (personality disorder, anxiety, depression, etc.). I do know that EDs are the most deadly psychiatric illness. No one chooses it and they are biologically based. There a myriad of health complications. Further, they are so difficult because a hallmark of the illness is ambivalence about getting well! Seems counter intuitive, but it's what is called an ego-syntonic illness and that ambivalence needs to be worked through before and during treatment. I work in ED treatment and will only comment narrowly on your post as I don't know your family at all.

Most adults with EDs require a lot of support to recover and they do not recover independently. So many of my patients talk about taking time to get well on their own but this is usually a set-up for failure. They require treatment or intensive care. Often, families play a HUGE role in recovery. They are what make pediatric treatment work and what is missing in adult treatments (where recovery rates are very, very low). In the field, family based outpatient treatments are being developed to help adults who still have family supports and are suffering. Beyond family treatment the next best form of treatment is intensive inpatient or day hospital care; where all meals/snacks/drinks are had with a team of professionals and the rest of the day is spent in individual or group therapy. Family therapy is often recommended by these programs as well.

I clicked on this link because the title alone made me wonder "hmmm does this persons' loved-one have an ED?". If you and your wife are not able to support her, please help get her to a place she can be supported. Other family, friends, or a program.

Here are some ED resources: National innitiative for EDs has a lot of information and this Information centre has a ton of written resources on ED facts and treatments. Click around.

/r/relationships Thread