For example, I plan things, write well thought out cards, buy gifts in advance without him every asking me to.

Here's the question though: Does he actually want you to do this?

I don't know if you're familiar or not with the concept of love languages. If you're not, basically, it's the idea that people express affection via different mediums, and that they most often express affection to others in the way they most enjoy receiving it. What can often plague relationships is when two people have different love languages. They are each expressing affection to their partner, but feel as though their partner doesn't appreciate their expression and isn't expressing affection back. The reality is that often times, they are speaking in different languages. The love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, and gifting. Based on what you've shared, I'd say that words and gifts are the languages you most respond to.

Gifting in particular can be a hard one for people to understand if it's not their love language, because to them gifts just feel materialistic or like obligations. To those with the gifting love language, it's often repeated that it's not the dollar value or the glitz and glamour that count--it's the thoughtfulness and effort. Gifters like gifts because they demonstrate that the other person pays attention to them, and that they spend a lot of time thinking about the other person even when they are apart. This is demonstrated in your approach to holidays with your boyfriend.

But as you said, he's never asked for any of this. And he probably appreciates it when you do it, because clearly it comes from a place of affection on your part. But what he doesn't necessarily realize is that you are modelling for him what you want done for yourself in return. I think if you asked him, you'd probably find he wouldn't care if you guys never did anything for Valentine's Day ever again. He doesn't necessarily care if you plan out a gift for him or not, because gifts don't matter that much to him.

Firstly, I'd recommend thinking of ways that your boyfriend might be showing you he cares through different love languages. Is he particularly physically affectionate, or an eager lover? If so, he might be more oriented towards touch. To people without this language, touch can sometimes just feel like a horny partner trying to get their rocks off, when it's actually about expressing affection through physical intimacy. Similarly, does he offer to do things to help you out--perhaps doing chores, offering you rides, offering to pay for things, offering to fix stuff, etc? This is more in line with acts of service. For those without this language, these acts of affection can be missed because they are often mundane and practical, but to those with this language, there is no better way to show they care than to make the lives of those they care about easier.

Secondly, you need to talk with him. I understand that you feel hurt, but the silent treatment helps nothing. He knows you are mad and that you are punishing him, but he can only guess as to why, and by using the silent treatment, you're setting him up to be on the defensive when you finally blurt out "you gave me a shitty valentine's day gift!" I know you wish you didn't have to tell him exactly what you want--but that's the only way you're going to get it.