My [27f] husband [33m] has been impossible to buy gifts/do nice things for for maybe the past two years. He just threw a temper tantrum over his Father's Day gift. His birthday is soon and I'm thinking of not even acknowledging it.

Here is a bit of advice from the son of a woman who is incredibly similar to your husband with regard to your children (who have to demonstrate empathy when they are at ages where typically, they don't even know what empathy is). Children should not be giving care to their caregiver.

My mother has a diagnoses of bipolar with depressive episodes, as well as PTSD. It was untreated for a long time, so I learned at a young age "keep mom happy at all costs". When I was 9 (NINE!!!), I asked my father to leave my mother because I was so upset. I had no idea what divorce was, I just knew I wanted to get away from her.

Dad made it painfully clear that he wasn't willing to do it. His children were a lower priority for him than his mentally ill, and abusive wife.

Believe me, your kids are fully aware that you aren't willing to do whatever is necessary for their sake. They know that you are willing to put your husband's level of stress and anxiety above their own.

And they will always remember that about you. Deep in their hearts, they will remember that.

/r/relationships Thread Parent