I understand where you're coming from but I dont think you understand what it means to be part of a different culture. What you say is completely acceptable as an american who has the privilege of being able to live in a country w self centered values. However, she is Korean and while she is Korean American, she is a first gen kid.

This is what we call cultural dysphoria. Her parents are strictly korean and therefore have korean values. Like the saying "you cant teach an old dog new tricks," her parents will never let go of their korean culture. OP was brought up in the states. She has probably experienced more american culture with hints of korean culture. She is not quite korean or american in a lot of ways.

Yeah it would be nice if all us first gen koreans could just leave our toxic parents but it is much harder to do if you grow up in a hoisehold of korean values. Korean values are much much more central to the importance of respect to elders and family is family no matter what. Americans have a more individual mindset where family is family but we will leave if needed and it is acceptable.

Take into consideration also that most asian parents who bring their kids to America have quite literally, given up their entire life to come to a foreign country where they dont even speak the language so that their children can have a better future.

OP's mom may not be aligning with american values but it is well within her cultural norm and boundaries to make remarks about her daughter's appearance. Americans have a huge "you cant fat shame" but this is not true for all countries. Go to any asian country and fat shaming can be and is a norm a lot of the time.

So yeah, it would be nice to have american values where all people think about is "me me me" but korean values do not align with it.

I think it is best if you study other cultures and acknowledge that different cultures have different values. Abandoning one's parents in asian culture is very very uncommon and frowned upon greatly. Knowing how much our parents have sacrificed for our happiness and future combined with the way we consider family relations is much different than a traditional american family.