3. My [28M] wife [28F] and I got into a huge fight over spending. Am I way off base...

My [28M] wife [28F] and I got into a huge fight over spending. Am I way off base in my thinking? Should I just give up and let her spend as she desires?

She blows up accusing me of forcing her to live in squalor

How dare she. You have paid off her debt and likely already provide for her a style of living significantly above what she could achieve herself.

You are not being frugal by making your debt a priority over lavish luxurious vacations. Miserable without 5 star accommodations? I'm betting most redditors here do not understand what that really means. 5 stars is luxury. Like pool on par with a resort, full spa, gym equipped as well as a professional gym, room service comparable in quality to a nice restaurant, actual restaurant that is on par with the hottest spots in town... etc.

I am not trying to paint my wife as a “gold digger” or something

Did she know you were going to be a doctor when you met her and started dating her? It's clear that she is incredibly entitled and materialistic.

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