My [29F] abuser's [30M] therapist is trying to let me move back in with me on a "temporary basis." My abuser is threatening suicide. And I'm just like...why? How can she, in good conscience, ask this of me?

Yes, it mental illness DOES excuse his actions. You are contributing so much vitriol to the already staggering amount if stigma towards mental health. People who's brains are literally misfiring signals or missing entire chemicals are not "human garbage" because of it. Some people are in so much pain all of the time, but don't get the help they need because of opinions like yours. Mental health is so so important, people with real disorders aren't just jerks without self control.

OP is not responsible for her brother. That's a combination of her parents, the state, and his mental health professional. She's out of that loop and absolutely should not let him back in at the expense of her own comfort. But her brother isn't evil.

To treat his family the way he does means he doesn't really care about you at all.

That's probably true. He probably doesn't care. Not because he's rude, but because he's fundamentally incapable of it.

If he could understand what he did was wrong he would be mortified and be completely fine with not living with you because any normal human would get that.

Again, yeah sure. But you are picturing him as a garden variety jerk and not a mentally unstable person.

/r/relationships Thread Parent