Then this morning, I try to wake him up at 9:30 (he usually sets his own alarm but didn't) and he would not get up. I stayed in there with him for almost half an hour, first being nice and trying to get him to just do something on his phone, and then expressing my frustration.

I lived with an ex in my early 20s like this and I left because I couldn't handle being his mom. It all crystalized when I vacationed with his family and they were all like that- no one cared what they missed doing due to being unable to wake up on time. The entire vacation was a huge waste of money and I was just done.

People don't usually change much. I don't see your bf even being motivated to change so I don't think it's going to work.