Thank you, I truly appreciate your analysis and kind words. It's so hard to give up on someone I've tried so hard for.
I know this isn't a healthy relationship - but I tend to put other people before myself. I'm up late worried sick about her - when she's prolly perfectly content and happy to be back home. I can't say I didn't try - or give her opportunities not even her parents provided.
I feel like if she wanted to truly marry me and always be with me - it wouldn't be so easy to always leave me.
It's hard for me to me to stay up - when she's always down. Always looking for the easy way out.
Half of me hopes she realizes she left in too much of a hurry and will want to setup better lines of communication and do group therapy. It's hard to let go of three years - there was some amazing times together.
The other half - thinks it's prolly for the best it happened in this first week of a new home - instead of years down the road. I really shouldn't have to walk on eggshells like you said. Nothing should ever resort to physical violence. I should be able to have friends and a life outside of her.
Then at the same time - it doesn't feel like much of one without her. Love is a wild roller coaster. I just can't wait for this one to finally be a smooth ride. Thanks for letting me vent and not making me feel like I'm such a terrible person. I may not be the best - but I don't feel like I'm as bad as other posters think I am. I would take that stupid one and a half hours back if I could.... It wasn't worth losing them - as bad as she might be for me - my heart still loves her unconditionally - but it seems her love has conditions attached....