My (30 F) boyfriend (30 M) always needs space after fights

he said that he’s doesnt know if* he even wants to put time and resources into working on his own shit for this relationship. Feel like it’s only fair of me to properly express what he said, but still an unappealing quality and response regardless.

I think what he struggles with is having so much on his plate with work then also a fair amount of activities and hobbies that help challenge him and better him at an athletic standpoint which is important to him (he likes to work on himself in those aspects). Having to “sacrifice” resources toward those to do therapy and or put effort in working on the bad parts of our relationship, which is a negative and stressful experience, is not appealing to him at this time when he’s so angry and fed up.

When I started therapy it was for me, because I knew had faults and I wanted to be a better communicator and person, not just within my relationship, but in general (family, friends, work,etc). If he can’t see value in learning to work through his flaws, even outside of our relationship, then that’s on him.

/r/relationships Thread Parent