My (30f) boyfriend (36m) wants a motorcycle. This is a dealbreaker for me. How do I approach this conversation?

I can totally relate to you. I have a fair amount of anxiety about motorcycles. I've been on the back of one once, my dad's Harley, going about 35mph and it horrified me.

Two years ago, my boyfriend started getting into motorcycles, more sports oriented ones, and decided to get a bike permit. I won't lie, it scared the shit out of me. I live in California, where its legal for bikes to pass between cars, and I've witnessed people, mostly cars, make really sketchy moves because they can't see the bikes. A friend of ours was laid out by a car pretty recently. I also live near highway 17 & 1- both incredibly beautiful drives but definitely already dangerous enough drives people who AREN'T on motorcycles. That being an end goal adventure for him on a motorcycle scared the crap out of me.

Anyway.. He bought himself a really cool helmet, got the permit, borrowed a friend's (malfunctioning) bike, took it out for one drive and it broke down on him. He had to push it about two miles home. I was really worried, because he had planned on going for a short ride and hadn't been home for hours. When he walked in our front door he was dripping sweat, and from that point on he was over the whole motorcycle thing. Just last week he told me he wanted to Craigslist his helmet. Needless to say, I am extremely relieved.. But to be honest with you, I'm just as horrified of car crashes. Horrible backseat driver right here.

In the long run I couldn't let my fears get in the way of doing something he had a genuine interest in. It was just more important to me to be supportive. However, I voiced my concern with it from day one. Personal freedom is really important in relationships, just don't let anxiety get in the way of that.

You seem to have a totally calm and collected explanation of your concerns. Express it. Show him the post! Maybe it'll get him thinking...

TL;DR I think you laid it out perfectly, show him the post. Most of us don't want to die, maybe your outlook will alter his perception a bit. Voice your concerns. Just keep in mind how important it is to feel supported.

/r/relationships Thread