My (30F) husband (40M) of 5 years, we have a very stupid and gross bathroom problem

Yeah but really, you need to connect with him about this. He needs to feel it from your end. I don't know specifically how to address it because every human, every relationship, is different in some way.

I would only hope that s a married couple that there are no more boundaries and the two of you can work out what kind of habits are acceptable in your home an not, and that you are both willing to learn from each other to make that idea rock of comfort that we come home to every day.

If you talked about it and it didn't work, you need to try harder and try also to figure out what his problem is. Is he leaving in a rush because he's insecure about cleaning himself? Make hygiene a bathroom focus. Buy a shower head that lets you wash yourself after using the toilet. Praise clean asses in casual conversation, fuck I don't know. You just have to help make him mindful of this, because most people who have terrible bathroom habits were brought up in an environment where even thinking about what comes out of your ass is evil, corrupting, sinful, etc.

Part of establishing a really long term relationship with another person is abolishing shame. I've been with my partner a long, long time and can safely say that the decades pass with comfort once you stop worrying about your own grossness.

So instead of making him feel even more ashamed of the evil coming out of his butt, just talk more about it like a normal thing. Yours and his alike. This is the effort we go through to make ourselves understood and appreciated and get others on board with us. It goes both ways, but for some odd, strange reason, we all get hung up on our poop.

That's okay, just talk about poop more. Seriously. As a joke, as a conversation over dinner, who the fuck cares, just talk about it. Because you share a life together you need to help each other get over the really hard parts about this sharing. Again, one of the hardest is our poop. It's okay though. It gets easier with practice.

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