A counselor may or may not help, but it's worth trying.

The issue here is the difference between men and women that many people here will try to gloss over. Just look over this sub and social trends in general: sex seems to be a far more urgent need for men and a far less pressing need for women. It's almost always the man complaining about how 'sex stopped completely after marriage/children.' Your wife needs to understand that, as a man, you have different needs. When you don't have sex for months on end, you're literally suffering from lack of intimacy and release. It's unhealthy and, as someone who has professed her love for you, she needs to look after you.

Sadly, this is just dependent on her. If sex with you is nothing but a chore for her 100% of the time, and she refuses to see your side of the story as legitimate, you might consider jumping ship. From experience, it's a serious detriment to raise kids in a sexless, loveless household: it will affect how they view intimacy and their own future relationships.