I honestly didn't mean to put it on OP. That wasn't my intention, and I'm sorry if it came off that way.

I more so was trying to buck the trend of immediately vilifying the significant other and pushing more towards self reflection.

I don't thin OP deserves what happened to them but at a certain point I feel that accountability needs to be factored in. Has your spouse been diagnosed or gone to any counseling sessions? Or have they been given the proper channels to see and un the rrstand their problems?

A lot of times we sympathize with the person telling us one side of the story. In no way am I siding with OP's significant other but at a certain point we need to ask ourselves: is this issue bigger than me? Would this situation be better served through a therapist rather than a form? Or should I take everything told to me at face value?