This is what denial looks like. This isn’t normal. It can be very unhealthy.
At the same time, this is what acceptance looks like. This can be normal. It can be very healthy.
There are no two cancers that are exactly the same, and there are no two reactions to the diagnosis that are the same. It’s impossible to know whether he’s in denial or if he’s simply handling everything in a healthy way.
When I got my diagnosis I pushed everything away. I pushed friends, family and all of my emotions away. I felt like I had to save myself from the disease by internally shutting down. I stayed that way for 2 years, throughout these couple of years I was happy on the outside, everyone thought I was handling it like a champ. Through these years I was called an inspiration and a motivation more times than I could count. Unfortunately, these 2 years were the worst years of my life. In my attempt to save myself, I completely lost it; I was incredibly destructive without even realizing it. I was only 14 at the time of diagnosis, it was right before my 15th birthday. I didn’t know how to handle it and I didn’t know what to do with all of my emotions.
Everything you’ve said about your friend sounds like how my best friends would describe me. The biggest difference between us is the age difference, and that matters a whole lot. You guys are grown men, who’ve got a whole lot more life experience than I had. I was an insecure teen going through puberty, the biggest worry I had before the diagnosis was whether my crush was into me or not. I shouldn’t have handled cancer the way I did, it got very close to destroying me. It sounds like he’s handling it the same way I tried to handle it. Even though me and your friend handled it similarly, I doubt we have the same reasons as to why we did/are doing it. I was insecure, it doesn’t sound like your mate is. I was going through puberty...I’d be surprised if he is (sorry, might not be time for jokes my bad). I was a kid who’d never even had a relative die, who’d never experienced any form of pain. He’s grown up and has probably gone through other painful experiences (physical or emotional).
One of my best mates got cancer 6 months ago (we’re in our early 20s now). He wanted a lot of advice from me. He was there for me when I went through cancer, and now I could return the favor. He told me loads of stuff, but generally he was genuinely happy. His cancer had progressed a lot further than mine ever did and to be honest it really didn’t look good, but he was still happy. He’s always been a really optimistic person and this was no different. He came to grips with the fact that he may not see his next birthday. It’s weird how cancer works, because his most difficult time was when he found out there were no signs of any more cancer cells in his body: he was free, and it took a huge toll on him. He had accepted his faith, he told me every day mattered more than before, he felt more free than he’d ever felt: but when the cancer was gone, he didn’t have 6 months left anymore, he’s suddenly got 60 years, and all the intensity he had felt was suddenly just gone.
I’m sorry that this has turned into a wall of text, english isn’t my first language so I struggle immensely with being succinct. I guess my point is that it’s impossible to know how anyones going to handle cancer, any part of the whole thing. Everyone handles it differently so the only thing I can be absolutely sure of is that this behaviour is normal, in the sense that everyone handles it in a new way, so anything goes really. My best advice would be to simply let him know that you’re there for him and you’ll always be there for him. Tell him you love him and that if he’s ever feeling down, you’ll be there for him. As he’s only had his diagnosis for 2 months it’s possible that the news haven’t really hit him yet. Give him time to digest all of it. I’m sure he’ll open up when he’s ready, but at the same time you gotta keep in mind that he might genuinely be doing alright, and that’s fine too. I wish you the best of luck!