I was honest. I did want her. I wanted everything with her. It drove me crazy to feel like I was investing as much emotionally as I was to hear things like she needed time or she didn’t care. I don’t tell people I’m emotionally involved with things like that. It sends a message. She was always so quick to go from us to her & her kids and me. I don’t dangle family because I don’t get my way. I stayed home because that’s where I would have rather been. I wanted her company, her touch, her love more than she was willing to give or even had for me. I was way more sure of wanting her than she was of wanting me. I know now that if someone needs time to figure it out going on 2 years that they probably don’t feel the same. I’m clingy, I wanted who I wanted. I didn’t hide convos after her and I moved back in. I didn’t go out and turn off my location and come home at 6am hungover. I was a shitty person and instead of trying to force love I should have walked away. Looking back she didn’t want me for a long time. I think it was the idea of me and not actually me. I was a good father to her kids regardless of what she thinks. I don’t need to go around telling people I was a good dad or that I was loyal. A lion doesn’t go around telling people they’re a lion, they just are.