She feels like you failed her repeatedly throughout the relationship.

First, you need to examine the reasons she gave you for why she feels that way. Do you agree with her that you have let her down repeatedly? If not, then you should be seeking a divorce.

If you agree with her, then you have to actually do something to prove that you understand and are going to actually change. Get yourself a therapist, with sessions at least weekly. Get the tools to communicate better, and figure out how to motivate yourself so she doesn't feel like she has to be in charge of your life. Make a list of your own goals, and start working towards them on your own. It will show that you are independent, don't need to rely on her at all to accomplish something for yourself, and capable of growth. Make sure that you are doing ~50% of the childcare and housework (depending on how many hours each of you works per week). If you are responsible for something with the kids or in the household, it should always, always get done without her help and without requiring her to make any decisions or tell you to do it.