My 41F husband 48M refused to clean up after the cat. I got mad, touched his arm. He snapped.

Grabbed the cat, wiped her butt. My husband was gaming. I yelled at him to come clean it right away. I have a health issue that makes it impossible for me to clean after her. An immune system defect. So my husband has to do it.

As he's gaming, I show him where the cat dragged her ass and tell him to do it now, or she'll walk in it and put shit all over the house. He went back to his computer and kept gaming. I got mad, kept repeating how important it is. I became the enemy.

He got up, upset, and as he was tried to go to the bathroom to get the cleaning products, I was trying to show him what area of the hallway had to be cleaned. But he was mad, and kept walking right on it. I kept trying to explain, and because he wasn't listening, I touched his arm. Like I always do. Not using any kind of force what so ever.

He said: Don't fucking touch me.

So to break this down. Cat poops, makes a mess. You clean the cat but can't do floor.

You yell at him to clean it up. First problem. Yelling isn't a good way to ask someone to do something, it's not going to get a positive response. Then you said you told him he has to do it now. Again, another problem. Think about it from his perspective. You yelled at him then started giving him orders, he tried to walk away and "wasn't listening" and you put hands on him. This isn't a good look at all. You've explained your side here but did you even say please? Did you actually ask him at all or did you just yell and tell like you've said here?

I haven't touched on the other issues with cleaning and stuff because I think that's going to take a lot more effort to fix. But this interaction alone, at least in my view is problematic. You're not supposed to treat other people like servants.

/r/relationships Thread