My [52M] son [21M] flunked out of college and has known for 5mo but lied about it until today. Help figuring out what to do?

No, I don't think that's too much micromanagement. While he is technically an adult, he is not acting like it. Taking back the console and then using that as part of his 'repayment' is entirely appropriate. Allowing him to keep it is only enabling him further. Taking away his cellphone? I'd consider that too far as we all need one nowadays.

To the comment "If you want him to grow up you have to respect him as an adult." from u/ghostofq , I think the burden is on the son to earn his own respect not demand it of his parents. You're a grown man and the only people who can confiscate are the police. Well, you probably pay for your things, too. If the son paid for it with the parents' money and without fulfilling his side of the contract, it's entirely fair to show him that that's not how contracts in the real world.

In an extreme view, the son stole the money from the parents as it had a specific use that the son not only didn't fulfill, but actively worked at hiding -- thereby acknowledging it as the fraudulent behavior -- in order to further obtain financial support. Take out the family designations and put in pronouns -- that's classic fraud. The son needs a wake up call, but that being said, he also needs support and not too much micromanagement.

/r/relationships Thread Parent