In the past I admit, no I didn't make much effort to fix this. It would stop for a long while and I'd feel I was over it and move on. That's my fault. I should have been the man to step up and get help. Now I'm taking those steps. I've started seeing a counselor, I've reached out to old friends. I try to occupy myself with work and hobbies to keep me going. I hope it's not too late to save this. I feel like it is sometimes but she insists she just needs time and I want to give it to her, I want to give her whatever she needs. I get what everyone here is saying, I recognize I messed up, I recognize that I have a problem, I recognize that I didn't do the right thing in addressing this a long time ago. Now I am, and I'm determined to get better and become a better man, better than the man she fell in love with. I told her in my wedding vows "I traveled across the country for you, I'd go to hell and back for you." And I mean it. I'm willing to go through this hell of loneliness and being without her for awhile for her. I'm willing to put whatever it takes to make this right again. I don't want to give up the fight until there's no fight left.