My best friends wife[24F] took advantage of me[23M] while I was blackout drunk, how do I tell my girlfriend[20F]?

I just said this happened to my husband while we were together before we got married. I never thought it was his fault and hate the fact that he’s struggled with guilt over it. Not just with me but because he felt like he betrayed his friend. I used to be friends with his friend’s wife, I’m not anymore and I haven’t spoken to her in years. The worst part of it is that she was sober. It turns out that it was some fucked up revenge thing she was doing because she caught her husband with another woman a couple of weeks prior. She had to do it when my husband was super drunk because he never would have gone for it otherwise. She is clearly 100% at fault.

However, I’ve seen too many people suffer in their lives for things that happened while they were too drunk to think clearly or resist. I had a binge drinking problem myself for a while (haven’t had a drink since 2012) and I know for a fact that I regret and blame myself to this day for shit I said and did, and I wonder how much there is that I don’t even remember. I’m not blaming OP, I’m offering him the perspective of someone who was similarly in his shoes at his age, and the perspective of someone who loves someone who had this exact thing happen to him. My husband to this day has guilt over that situation. He somewhat blames himself, and no amount of people telling him it’s not his fault (like I have all these years) will make that go away. He knows he didn’t actually consent, but there’s always the part of him that says “I didn’t exactly say no either. If I hadn’t have been so drunk I could/would have.” I don’t want anyone to have to live with those types of regrets.

/r/relationships Thread Parent