What I will tell you is that I have run this by a few therapists in the past. It would always fizzle out, because they'd say "love yourself." It's such vague, shitty advice. I DO love myself. You don't have to hate yourself to want to change something about your body. It is out of self-love that I want to enjoy breasts.

I did tell him to make an effort to hide his porn from me, since I'd rather he be sneaky than pretend not to use it, then have me find it. But he left shit out after I asked him that. I don't know if he's being careless or testing me. He does have a habit of testing me to see if something will set me off. This is his way of measuring if I am mature enough for him. It's not cool, and I try to deal with it maturely. I have done some pretty shitty things over the past year, so while I feel his response is not correct, I understand where it comes from.

My mother was a small B cup like me until she had children. I don't want to get pregnant just to get boobs. I've been on birth control for about a year and it made me grow like half a cup. I feel that may be the limit of the effects of the pill. I asked my doctor to help raise my progesterone and estrogen levels (but still within a safe range of course) and she prescribed me a new birth control that I'll be starting in a few weeks. I am hoping it will help.

The truth is, these insecurities will take years to deal with. I was also sexually abused as a child so my sexual issues run very deep. I do not want to wait that long to start living my life. Being a cam girl will be very empowering, as well as enabling. I might even get in over my head. And I'm fine with that. It's been too long since I felt that good about something. It'll enable me to pursue so many of my other hobbies too, just from the money.

I am tired of big girls complaining about their boobs. It's really, really dumb to me. The downsides of having no boobs greatly outweighs discomfort and stares. It really does.