My bf gave OUR lock code out his family

I’ve been nervous about posting myself so I thought I should read other posts like this and give feedback before I just focus on myself. Kudos to you for bringing up your relationship, coming first hand it’s tough. At least for me.

As a straight male, I’m trying to walk In your boyfriends shoes. Family to me, specifically, is extremely important, so I can relate to your bf in that aspect.

In my eyes, I think it’s a convo you both need to sit down and talk about. To be honest you probably already have, but I’m working with what you’ve written in your post.

I think you’re 100% correct in being frustrated with you BF’s actions after stating you weren’t comfortable sharing your code to your home. However, based on the post you wrote, there was no insight on how he felt about this statement. This is not justifying his actions, but was it agreed upon or did you just state that you were uncomfortable with others knowing the code to your home? If he agreed and broke your trust, that’s on him. If you just said “I don’t want others/ your fam to know the code” and he didn’t comply or agree, it isn’t as simple.

If you’re living together I’m confident you can work through this. In my eyes, the issue lies within his family coming into your home unannounced. It isn’t specifically a bf problem, but a bf family problem. I cannot imagine bursting into a home, regardless of how close I am with that person, without an invite. That is a breach of trust, even if it was my mother‘s home. It’s just basic respect and courtesy.

Relationships are all about concessions and picking your battles. If this is very important to you, voice it to him. He may have wronged you but if he knows how important it is to you and cares enough about you, he should change. I’m young, only 26 y/o, so take my advice with a grain of salt. But if fam is important to your bf, that’s a positive sign. Make sure he is aware of how you feel. Sounds cliche but communication is key. I’m sorry if I’ve been insensitive in any way, just trying to give my 2c. I wish you the best of luck!

/r/relationship_advice Thread