My bf left me alone while I was sick and I am reconsidering the relationship

I used to be the girl that tells her friends to just “dump him if he’s not going to change” LOL turns out, I had a lot of leveling up to do in my communication skills.

It’s surprisingly helpful to think that there are many circumstances where things don’t come “naturally,” including care-taking. It could be because of the home environment a person was born into, or just because of inexperience. At 22 and 21, I’m like gosh, there’s still a lot of growing to do, and that’s a good thing!

A healthy growing relationship is built on trust and communication. You won’t know why he acted like that until you ask, you won’t know if he’s uncomfortable with it from inexperience or maybe he just doesn’t view himself as this kind of care-taker, or he’s just blissfully unaware. And, he won’t know how much you wanted him to stick around and babysit you in case you hit a 104 fever and really need to go to the ER unless you tell him. And yea, I did have to learn that some relationships DO require that level of basic communication because we’re not mind readers (as much as I would love for my partner to already know the things that I’m embarrassed or vulnerable or needy about).

After talking it out, then you can decide what to do about it. If it’s not important to him but it is to you, then you’ll know. But give yourself the chance to start having that kind of authentic talk, instead of second-guessing it and keeping it your head :)

/r/relationship_advice Thread Parent