My BF says I don't care about my health when I get angry on prednisalone

The first question that comes to my mind is, Do you have a better living situation available, with family or a close friend? A stressful living situation is not going to help you get better. Some of my worst flares were stress-related. So...

I think you've just got to see this as making the moves you need to make to get healthy. I can't tell you whether you or your boyfriend is more to blame for the fighting, because I'm not there, and I also don't know how much the prednisone is affecting you and making your behavior unusual.

But I would say, try to think about what your best living situation will be so you can get healthy. If there are things you can do for your boyfriend to make him feel appreciated (you seem to indicate that he has been sleeping on the couch because you have trouble sleeping with him in bed), try to do them. It isn't always easy for people without Crohn's to understand what is going on, or how much pain you are in, or how much trouble you have sleeping when on prednisone. I'm not saying it's right of him (again, I just don't know the situation), but if it's easiest, at least in the short-term, to continue living together, showing him some gratitude for the changes he's making to accommodate your recovery should both make him feel appreciated, and probably also help him to take you seriously.

I know prednisone can affect your moods, but I personally don't recall it making me angrier. There are a lot of underlying things, though, with having Crohn's, that can make small things seem bigger and rapidly erode your patience, so I can understand it being a tough time and straining relationships. So... if moving somewhere else is not an option, the realistic answer is, I think, that when you see that your Crohn's is affecting his life, too, you can also understand why his temper might also be a bit shorter. He's not going through the same physical pain, but life has become more unpleasant for both of you lately, and both of you are probably a little short on nerves. So I think, again, if you're trying avoid the stress of a breakup and move-out right now, or if you want to repair the relationship and that's your question, just try to be aware of what he's doing for you, show appreciation for that, and hope that he's willing to see that your sickness and medication is doing things in your relationship that you don't mean to happen.

But it may also well be that he can't sleep as well on a couch, and if that's what you need now, it may just be that a different living arrangement is necessary for both of you. I don't know if it's fair to ask the internet if they think your boyfriend is being unfair to you, because no one else can see that relationship. Even in your short post you've indicated that he is no longer sleeping in the bed he is used to, and when he said he didn't want to sleep on the couch anymore, there was some yelling? He may think that if you have enough energy to yell at him, he doesn't understand how you're so tired that you need the bed all to yourself. He may feel like you're using your health issues as an excuse to push him away. Is the relationship already failing? It's not clear in your post that you actually want to make this work. It's more like you've given a very limited picture and asked reddit if they think you should move on. If you think you should, explore your options. If you want to make it work, figure out a way to show your bf some appreciation for what he's doing, and perhaps give him some idea of what the future looks like. Another part of it is that there's not necessarily a clear timeline on these treatments. If you want the relationship to work, you've got to treat it like a partnership and at least make an effort to give and take, and not just focus exclusively on what you need. I say this as someone who's been seriously ill with Crohn's and struggling in a relationship, and was with someone who basically felt like I was a burden on them. So I know what that feels like. But I also know that even when I'm sick I have control over my behavior, and I always try to pay attention to when people are going out of their way for me, or doing something that makes it easier for me, and if nothing else, I at least always thank them.

Sorry for the long response. Not quite sure why I felt compelled to write all that, but you just had quite a short post asking quite a large question, and I just wanted to chime in to say that, having had a history of being sick and being in relationships, it's kind of easy sometimes to get tunnel vision about our own illness and maybe forget that it's affecting other people, too. So it's hard to say if one side or the other is in the wrong in a situation like you describe; you really need to have both people willing to make concessions for the other. If you really need the bed to yourself for awhile, and that's not negotiable, then you've got to do something else nice for him and really make it clear that you're really grateful and appreciative of him having to couch it, and if that doesn't fix the problem with him, then you've probably got to re-evaluate the relationship.

/r/CrohnsDisease Thread