I hate how birthdays are celebrated with dinner and cake and gifts, the consumerism (of calories and goods) grosses me out. But this is how people show they care for each other - spending money on them. I’m being cynical, enough. Is there a way you could suggest doing something else with your mom, like getting your nails done? Still spend time with her, still let her treat you to something, but not at a restaurant. Go back and apologize, say you appreciate the thought but you don’t like being the center of attention or celebrating yourself or whatever your other reasons are, and that’s why you got upset, and also that since you’ll be tired after work maybe you could do something relaxing or another day. And happy early birthday! Really though it’s just another day.