My boyfriend of 2 years broke up with me because he is going to be in nursing school soon.

Hello. Before I begin, this is going to be a very long intro to the story so whoever is willing to read this all, I sincerely send my gratitude to you :)

So my boyfriend [26m] and I [22f] have been together for 2 years now, actually just two weeks ago marked our 2nd year of being in a relationship. We also have history, when my mom first came to America and worked for a restaurant.. my mom became best friends with his mom and we even have a group picture of all of us together. I was like 10 months old and his mom was holding me, and he was about 4 at the time, I always talked about how I wanted another picture like that in the same room with him when we're old. So basically our families know each other well. This is my first time ever being with someone. I can't say that this relationship has been the healthiest but I know we're both trying. We were talking for a few months before we started dating and he was always a shy and quiet person, too scared to let me know how he felt about me. I never knew until later that he was struggling with social anxiety and depression. And so at the time I used to be so cold and always played hard to get. I would put him in the friend zone only because I was feeling so empty and wanted to watch him try so many times just to feel like someone really wanted me, which was very selfish of me to do. Till this day I always feel guilty even for the smallest things. (I know this doesn't really explain why he recently broke up with me for nursing school but I'd like to start from the beginning so that whoever is kind enough to read this entire thing can give a really good opinion, because I'm in need of one)

Anyway. Once we started dating, it was great and I knew I really loved him and he really loved me. A few months after the "honey moon phase" as most people describe it, he started to be too concerned with my social life. My boyfriend would suggest to spend more time with him than my sister or her friends (I don't have too many friends of my own) and I thought it was cute because it seemed like he adored me. Then a few months after that everything got controlling.. I couldn't wear any makeup whatsoever, nail polish, the clothes I loved wearing, I had to share my location from time to time. Just little things like that. He has said many hurtful things to belittle me and till this day I always feel like I deserved it. I haven't started college yet because of how stupid he has made me feel. Half way through the first year of our relationship, my family sent me to Turkey for 2 months during the summer because they wanted me to get away from him to clear my mind, I have family in Turkey so they basically took care of me and emotionally healed me. I was still in contact with my boyfriend while I was there but kept it a secret from my family otherwise they would've been furious.

When I returned we were working through our issues. Things were fine until it wasn't again. The controlling became worse. I deleted so many friends from my life, changed the way I looked, dropped everything I would do for myself (getting my hair done, shop for the things I liked, listen to the music I enjoyed).

We celebrated our first thanksgiving together at his house and later that evening he told me he had no feelings left for me once he realized I got my eyebrows done. The idea of my eyebrows being too perfect and cleaned up was not pure to him. So he didn't technically break up with me but basically scared me into thinking until how long did I have left to be with someone I really loved, being that he said his feelings started to change. This was in November of 2015 so since we started dating in April 2015, it hasn't even been a year that this all happened.

I couldn't take any of it anymore so I told my family how I was being treated and from there I ended it with him. He was so upset he even cried to me over the phone the following day and I was scared because I never heard him cry, let along cry hysterically. The following week I started to feel like I made a mistake of ending it with him and went chasing him.

Ever since then we've been working out our differences even though I did most of the work by changing myself for his own pleasure. Also for anyone reading this, I don't want to make it seem like I'm still miserable of being in this relationship because him and I have come a long way. And I did also learn a lot and understand where he comes from. I learned how to be more compromising, I don't want to say that in the end I was manipulated into agreeing with his standards.

Don't get me wrong because although this all sounds like he's a horrible person and/or that I should stay away from him, there are truly so many good things about his character. When he chooses to be, his kindness and love is beyond this world. I put up with everything because I personally feel like he acts like this since he has a lot on his plate and doesn't know how to properly handle it. I'm trying really hard to be patient and willing because I do have a lot of love for this person. We both became more responsible.

Fast forwarding to 2 years later, till this day though, I have to hide my relationship from my family, they're very hard on me and made it clear that they don't want me with him ever again. But I'm still standing for what I believe in. We've been better, we've been working out together, hanging out and bonding, etc. He doesn't treat me the way he used to anymore even though we have our spicy moments like any relationship.

So recently my boyfriend decided he wanted to go into nursing school to pursue a career and have a successful life. He's extremely intelligent for his age and I'm confident he will do very well. He starts in about two weeks. However currently he's been struggling to pay for bills and loans he owes for school. He didn't have a car for a while until about 8 months. All of the money he makes goes to bills in the same week so he barely even has anything to spend on personal needs. I was never the materialistic type of girlfriend to ask for things, in fact I don't ever remember demanding that I should either. For a few months now I've been lending him money. Now it's not a lot but when you add everything up together it's been close to $1,000. I don't do it to feel like he has to owe me. I do it because I want to be there for my partner in any way that I can. If he's broke, I'm broke. If he's down, I'm down but we'll get back yo together. That's just the way I think. Basically I've done so much for him that no one can even imagine someone my age doing for another person. A little becomes a lot in the long run.

As I stated, my boyfriend broke up with me though because he is going to be in school soon and doesn't have time for a relationship. I don't know if he came to this decision because he thinks I've been too clingy or desperate? Which I'm not because all I asked was for sympathy and love. I just felt very neglected for a few weeks and I feel like because I've sacrificed so much, I deserve to at least be treated with kindness and affection. Im just really heartbroken that someone who once did really want me thinks I would intentionally be a distraction to his studies.

I feel like if he really wanted to be with me, he would make things work and just ask for my understanding if he had to be distant once school starts since he doesn't have time to waste anymore. Instead he broke up with me two weeks before he even started school. We both spoke about him going to school before he broke up with me. Why now? It just feels like I did something wrong.

There are people who have kids and still attend school because they have to manage both. There are couples out there who are married and go to school that can manage school and their marriage. I personally feel that it's all about commitment and whether or not you genuinely want to learn to juggle 3 things.

I've been hurting a lot recently because all I ever want to do is make things right and stand up for what I really believe in and I feel like I'm alone. What should I do?

Thanks to everyone again for your time, thoughts and advice!

/r/AskReddit Thread