My boyfriend (25m) gets angry at me (27f) for seemingly no reason and shuts me out

OP this is my first time ever commenting. I used to do this a little bit with my current boyfriend (I’ve since stopped) and it took him telling me how frustrating it was and how it made him feel for me to actually realize what I was doing and that I needed to stop. At the time — in my mind — I thought I was justified (he’d hurt my feelings) + i grew up in an environment where I wasn’t really allowed to express my feelings, especially if they were negative. I think this feeling of powerlessness in terms expressing myself + a little bit of embarrassment that I was sensitive / things hurt my feelings led to me just shutting down and being essentially passive aggressive. This is what I’ll say: i was extremely open to changing once it was pointed out to me bc I love my boyfriend and want our relationship to be successful and have successful communication. And, as soon as he said it I was like, ok yes I see that in myself. So I got into therapy. I say sit him down when this hasn’t happened for a while and explain to him how it makes you feel — distant, that you have to walk on egg shells, not emotionally close, etc. if he’s the right guy for you, he’ll immediately want to fix it. If he’s not, he’ll continue to deny it / be unable to own up to it. Hope this helps!

/r/relationships Thread