This party sounds like it was important to her bf. Maybe the party went from 5-9, and she showed up at the end? Maybe it's a sports party and the game was already over when she showed up? If he was already drunk, and everyone was asking where she was, it sounds like she was showing up near the end.

It sounds like he has been supportive with her nontraditional style schooling- but where is she supporting him? Where is she showing up for him? It's a two way street. People don't sign up to date someone for years of volunteer one way work.

Eventually she does have to show up for the parts of events he wants her to.

She doesn't have to prioritize him at all. But she also can just not date.