I've just come out of a pretty toxic relationship of only 6 months. She couldn't get past the fact that I'd come out of a 6 year relationship and wanted me to cut ties with my ex all together. I wish i had but I just felt this overwhelming guilt for leaving her on her own. So whenever my ex would message maybe once a week to catch up, I would respond; general chit chat really, just catching up. The mistake I made was lying to my current partner about it. Anyway she found out and it just went downhill from there really. She'd call me a slag and a lying selfish cunt etc.

But we decided we'd still give it another go under the proviso that I never messaged my ex again. Fine, i thought I can do that, after all I left her so why do we still need to be in touch? I should be there to support my current partner and respect her boundaries. So that was that, I told my ex I couldn't message her anymore.

Unfortunately, my current partner just couldn't move past it despite how hard she tried. So she would be reassurance seeking constantly, needing 5 hour conversations going round and round in circles, and at difficult times of day like before we went to sleep when I'm absolutely drained. Sadly, I couldn't always give her that constant validation and she'd get mad and abusive and call me awful things, even hit me a couple of times. So I'd retaliate and say she was a psycho (I bitterly regret saying that). But it was like this for weeks and even months every few days. Up until recently when she walked away. I miss her deeply, but I don't know why. Like neither of us were happy really.

We were both at fault and clearly weren't right for eachother despite how much we wanted to be together. Doesn't make sense doest it.

What I'm getting at is you deserve nothing less than perfect and if you're not getting that after just 3 months in then it's knowing when to call it a day. Having said that I'm not sure I'd be that strong as I'd probably still take her back in a heartbeat.