Look,

Just because you have mental health issues at the root of the behavior, doesn't mean that he has any obligation whatsoever to tolerate that behavior. A lot of what you described, is unacceptable behavior, where he'd be more than fair to break it off. If it's actually caused by a mental health issue, that can absolve you of some of the moral culpability, if you truly cannot control your words and actions, but it doesn't mean that your ex is obligated to put up with it.

I hate to say it, but you are very much the toxic one. And good for you that you're getting to the root of that toxicity and are trying to fix it, but you can't expect another person to stick around and be subjected to it for however long it takes you to do that.

Also: "“what if you blow up on me again in 6 months and i have to sleep on the couch” as if that doesn’t happen in normal relationships."...I don't know where you got your idea of normal, but for a lot of healthy, well adjusted relationships, that shit actually doesn't happen, and certainly not on a regular basis to where it's expected and anticipated, and certainly not without good reason...and if it does, the person who got pissed off can have the decency to go sleep elsewhere themselves if they don't want to be in the same room.