How strange is it that there can be such beauty in such grief? I have heard people say that when they die, they hope they will have lived in a way that will mean people miss them. But for myself, nothing would make me happier than to know, when I passed, that people were saying "I am glad to have known her, because she made me happy, she made me laugh." Maybe that's why stories like this give me an almost frisson-like feeling - it's very likely that this young man thought himself an ordinary person, lucky enough to be loved by someone, but with no real idea of his impact on the people around him. I think a lot of us go through life just trying to be a regular, ordinary, good person. And yet just by being him, he has made other people's lives happier - better - he has left a warm light behind him that cannot be extinguished and which shines through every word OP has written about him, shines even through the pain of her loss of him.

And I feel the same when I see the responses OP is receiving. I have lost a handful of people in my own life, but it's not them I'm thinking of. I am thinking of the people left behind. I see a lot of death in my job - I deal with estates, so I am constantly speaking with people who've just lost their loved one in one way or another. There are so many ways to lose someone, and none of them are good ways. It doesn't matter if someone is 3 or 103, the people left behind still have to deal with the pain of that sudden, painfully sharp emptiness left behind the person who died.

I try very hard to help the survivors come to the point where they can go back to remembering the life of that person, and the joy and gift it was to them to have that person in their life, rather than that painful absence that can be so hard to bear in the aftermath. I am so happy when I can get them talking about that person's life, rather than their absence. It's as if in passing on the memories they are handing me pieces of their loved one to see, to examine, and to understand, and somehow, just by sharing those pieces, they often end up blunting the edges of their grief. And I know it works because so many of them have thanked me at the end of a discussion, and told me that it made them feel better just to talk about the person - just as OP states it has in her post, having received care and support from hundreds of complete strangers who were given pieces of her loved one to see and to share, and were touched enough to reach out to her and share their own pieces of their loved ones.

OP, you've received a huge amount of responses. No need to respond to mine - I just want to say that I am glad you know that he'd want you to keep going. Just the way you describe him, I'm sure he would, just as I'm sure you would want him to had the roles been reversed. I am both sorry for your loss and happy for just how much happiness he obviously gave to you in such a short space of time. And thank you for sharing those pieces of him with all of us.