My boyfriend hardly ever takes me out on dates but he believes otherwise

No one has ever kept count nor will we ever. Who's got time for that? Lol

Planning dates for us normally goes with me suggesting we go out and do something. I can go a month or so without suggesting we go out and do something and we will not go out and do something until I suggest it. When the day is agreed upon, I will either tell him what I think would be a great time for both of us or he'll straight up tell me I have to pick something to do and if I dont pick something by the time he arrives to my place or I arrive to his, then we will sit until I choose something. Which has happened a few times when I was too busy to plan an evening out.

Valentine's and anniversaries are about celebrating each other so the way we decide to spend the time together should be divided equally. But Valentine's I again was told to tell him how I wanted the evening spent and nothing was decided until an hour after he arrived to my place. Where I decided we go to my favorite food place and come home to watch a movie he had been dying to see. As for our anniversary, we didn't celebrate our first year, but as our second year approached I waited to see if he'd say anything, but as the date came closer, and my work schedule fit the time perfectly, I had to bring it up and ask if he'd like to do anything. Again, I was told to come up what we should do and had to give the suggestions of doing a combination of one favorite thing of his and one favorite thing of mine.

Major holidays are spent with his family, as I don't have one. And I'm perfectly fine with that, they are great people and I love them! But the same goes for him and his family. Last Christmas, his parents said they wanted to either go out to a nice dinner or have a dinner at home. I worked that night and would ask for updates on the plans so that I could know what to wear and where to go once I was off. Each time I asked him what the plans were, he'd say he didn't know. Of course I know him and would ask if he asked his parents, he'd say he didn't ask. He didn't tell me the plans until 30 left of my work shift. I found out later that night that his brother and his gf knew the plans at leaat 3 days before. The time I found out what the plans were, they were already out and about and his brother told me they thought I knew and were under the impression that I was already there before they arrived.

It never dawned upon me how much effort I put into our evenings alone until it was brought up last night and he tried to take credit for it. Everything else in our relationship is great. I'm just saying if he's not going to put in more effort into our dates, then he shouldn't take credit for the whole thing for doing one little detail that not only I trying to do (we were both looking up and calling new places) but I also told him to do in order to avoid wasting time.

/r/relationships Thread Parent