OP, I am honestly astounded at many of the comments on this post excusing your boyfriend for his behavior, saying he "sounds like a nice guy," saying he probably didn't understand how serious you were being, etc.

And I want to preface this by saying that I experienced something very similar 5 years ago.

You literally pushed his hands off of you, asked him to stop multiple times, and screamed, and he still did not stop.

This was a violent assault. He shoved his fingers inside of you, without consent, without any lubrication, in an area that can be incredibly painful. This was a violent act.

There are no excuses for this kind of behavior. The fact that he sobbed and apologized the next day doesn't excuse or justify his behavior, and to be honest, it doesn't necessarily mean he's sorry for what he did.

I was raped by my ex-boyfriend (we were together at the time), and, just like your boyfriend, he cried and apologized.

But when I actually brought up going to the police, reporting him, etc etc, he started to accuse me of abusing him. He became cruel and callous and started to deny what he had done.

I know every person is different, but I think you need to be prepared that if you choose to move forward in this relationship, it will not be an easy road by any means. You will most likely always have in the back of your mind that the person you love most, raped you. That is something you unfortunately will have to live with and remember, and no matter how many times he apologizes or tries to make up for it, you most likely will not be able to forget what he's done.

I tried to forget for the longest time what my boyfriend had done, and I couldn't. And I always, always wondered if he would do it again.

Some relationships cannot move forward after a violent assault. Some can, but those are very few.

I don't know if yours is one of them.

If it is, I wish you luck. If it's not, I'm sorry.

My advice to you is to take time away from him. Take a break, a week or more, to spend time alone and think about things and decide what you want to do moving forward.

You can take all the time you need. You don't have to report him, tell the police, etc, if you don't wish to.

You can choose whatever path you need, but make sure it's one you've thought out carefully.

In my experience, when the relationship continues, so does the pain. I will always wish that I had left immediately after he raped me.

I just hope you remember that anything you feel is valid and normal, but nothing about what he did was valid or normal.

Wishing you the best.