My boyfriend (M25) and I (F21) decided to quit smoking together but he has been smoking behind my back and lying to me, what do I do?

Addiction can be a brutal thing and he's been addicted since high school. Your one year to his seven or eight or whatever... expecting to deal with this on equivalent terms was hopeful but unrealistic. It's commonplace if not inevitable for addicts to lie, deflect or otherwise avoid the shame of being called out on a relapse. If you talk about this in terms of trust or lack of trust, that's how he'll deal with it. There are many things couples should do together, but quitting cigarettes doesn't make the list. Addiction is a very individual thing and needs to be treated individually. Making it a group effort commonly brings exactly this kind of situation out. Someone stumbles and it's no longer the desired supportive environment but an entirely divisive thing. That's where you're at. Review your relationship and your addiction in those terms and try not to mingle the two.

/r/relationship_advice Thread