If YOU would rather pick DYING than just disclosing then I’m very sorry, you should go to therapy. I got gHSV when a male friend of mine convinced me to have sex with him and then he removed the condom without my consent. It was only the THIRD TIME I had ever had sex in my entire life. So, yes, I completely understand all of the negative emotions you feel regarding this.

But the fact is, if you don’t disclose your condition to a partner, you can pass it to them. Imagine how badly you feel about having it? Why would you even risk giving it to someone else? It isn’t fair to them. It wasn’t fair to you, and it wouldn’t be fair to your future partner either.