This is heartbreaking, utterly heartbreaking.

First off, let me tell you, I believe you.

Here’s the second thing I will say. Sometimes, there aren’t guidebooks for life. Sometimes, even when we consult wise and educated people, they fail us.

You know this situation best. Literally nobody else can know what you and your son are enduring. I can tell by your writing that you are desperate and you love him. Perhaps he is has some kind of behavioural or mental illness. Perhaps something is going on when he visits his dad. Maybe his classmates or his teacher suck.

The point is, it sounds like you’ve tried everything reasonable. Give yourself grace. After that, ask yourself for the right answer. Maybe you meditate, or clean your fridge or go for a bike ride. Find a way to clear your thoughts. You need to access your intuition and your judgement and come up with the right answer yourself. Then give it a week or two before you act. If it still feels right, you know what yo do.