Great comment thank you! It is very much like that. She will yell and scream down the phone, and then when the other person hangs up because they are sick of her abuse, she slams the phone down and says they're a bitch and no one will help. I wonder why.

I like to think I am empathetic and patient too. When I was younger I would have snapped before now. I have had depression so I can empathise with where she is at, however, if she was my friend, I would be distancing myself. We have tried to help her, as co-workers, as a team, and also management. But she won't help herself. There is stuff she can do, and she doesn't do it because "she can't be bothered". I can't take a barrage of complaining as soon as I sit at my desk in the morning.

I do challenge her and it's clear she doesn't like it, but I think I will keep doing it. My team-leader cannot be trusted because she will pin other people - "So-and-so came to talk to me about your behaviour..." not something like "we have all noticed that....".

We are on eggshells every day and this isn't how it's supposed to be, but it's a mess of a situation and I'm not sure what to do without getting myself hated or fired.