Reposting with better formatting

I'll start with some background. My parents are divorced and I live with my mom. The paternal side of my family and I had a bit of a break from each other for three years due to a religious disagreement. My dad was the one who made it clear to me that I was not welcome in their family with my with my views. Neither of us made any attempt to contact the other for that time. Since then I've grown to understand their opposition, and I reached out to them this year to rebuild our relationship. They say they've come to accept me for whoever I am and whatever I believe.

That side of my family is very well off. My grandfather was a CEO of a very successful company for many years and he is very generous to his children. My dad relies on him and that generosity. I don't want to be similarly reliant on them for much other than college. I can due without debt in the tens of thousands, but I do want to make my own way in life.

My dad isn't the picture of mental health , and while he's started going to counseling I fear I'm seeing the same dramatic and controlling responses I remember him for. Being his oldest son, I've seen him struggle to let go. That was a large factor of that schism those three or four years ago. For example, I went to see my grandparents this summer and most importantly to see my grandfather. He's sliding into dementia or Alzheimer's and it's at a noticeable stage. I made this clear to my dad (who lives just a couple of hours away), yet he was offended that I didn't spend time with him instead. I made it clear to him that I think this is the last time I'll see my grandfather this coherent, and he just gave me the silent treatment punctuated with a passive aggressive text.

Then there's his grand gestures and gifts. These are how he guilts people. At least, this is how he'd guilt me in the past. My brother, who's retained contact with him for the time when I didn't told me he still does this. My dad will give (via some dramatic presentation) some expensive gift or sum and later he will lament his decision when the recipient disagrees with or argues with him. "I give you all this and you treat me like this," he'll say. I'm not a fan.

A week ago he told me he'd send me some money for shoes as school starts back up, and as mine are about a year old, I was inclined to accept. After a few days, a card arrives. It has a short and sweet blurb about how he loves me and is excited for me to reconnect with his family. I appreciated it, but also in the card was a check. It had more zeroes than I've ever received at once, without work no less. I thought of his usual intentions with large gifts and tore up then threw it away, but kept the card.

I called my grandma and after talking explained what I was sent and what I did. She said it was only a gift, but she knows how he handles these things. I tried calling my dad twice this week and leaving messages, but with no response by text or call. It's worth mentioning that he rarely if ever calls me. When he does pick-up I know he's going to bring it up, but I don't know how to explain myself truthfully and without antagonizing him. What should I do? Should I just wait for this to blow over a while before? How should explain this to him? tl;dr: My dad just sent me a large sum with what I think are