My dad groomed & sexually abused me until I was 9. AMA!

Hmm very tricky! I only came forward with it because my mother kept asking me why I didn't want to go to my dad's house and I was being very secretive. I'd say other people would've had that nasty gut feeling you're having now too.

I don't know how old the kid is either. That makes a huge difference.

It depends on how well you know the child & your relationship with them. I think just feeling safe and calm with a person who you know won't freak out on you is key (for the child). Education is important too. Making sure that every child knows that's it's OK to tell on an adult, no matter who they are or what they've said.

If you're close with the kid, maybe have a full day of JUST kid activities. No adult music, conversation, mentioning anything other than basic kid things (school, sport, whatever they're into). While you speak to them, see how they're reacting. I'd say it's OK to outright say something like: you're safe, there are a lot of people who care about you, we care about how you feel, if you ever want to tell me or anyone else something, we will help you. You'll never get in trouble for telling the truth.

I'm not cool with sharing personal information, sorry.

You can also call social services and say you think a welfare check is a good idea. This might scare the kid though if the abuser has said some nasty manipulative shit about breaking up the family or something.

I was at a good age to come forward. To be honest, I would've continued to go to my dad's house & just put up with it if it hadn't started escalating in the weeks before I told my mother.

I don't know what I would've done if someone had reached out to me, sorry. Very hard to say.

Ultimately, I think it's WAY better to make people a bit awkward with trying to offer your help than to let a child suffer and have their life ruined for the sake of social graces.

Good luck. I'm sorry you're in this situation. Please help them.

/r/AMA Thread Parent