I am a third. I have my fathers name but with a three on the end.

My dad was never perfect. A childhood of empty promises, mostly due to alcoholism but hey, at least he was there.

My parents divorced three years ago while I was away at college. Nine months later I visited my dad during spring break (mostly to see my little brother). My dad would not give me my childhood photos because my mom wanted a few of them as well. He essentially told me I had to choose between having a relationship with him and his new girlfriend or my mom. I told him that I didn't even choose to be born and I certainly will not choose one parent over the other. He threw away the photos, he called me names, and he called my mom names.

You see, its weird. When he was fourteen his mom died of cancer. By the time my dad was fifteen, his dad had remarried and kicked my father out of the house because of a resentment he expressed for his "new mom" and step-siblings who received extra attention. He has never forgiven his father for that. I asked how he could do the same to me. He had no response. I told him goodbye and I meant it. It was the toughest decision I ever made.

Since, he has tarnished my reputation within his entire side of the family so badly that I still receive random texts and facebook messages to tell me that "I've brought shame on this family," "I've ruined my future," and that I'm "no longer welcome in any of their homes." Not a single one of them ever asked for my side of the story, ever. So I cut them out as well.

I haven't talked to him since. He has texted me twice. Six months after I told him goodbye he texted me to notify me that he remarried and that I can be a member of the family once I become a man and realize exactly what that means. The other text came today. He said that he thought I was going to show up at his house. I didn't text back. I said goodbye two years ago.

In the past three years I have graduated college, celebrated my 21st birthday, fallen in and out of love, been hospitalized, started law school, worked multiple jobs at once, struggled to make rent, and he never once texted me. But, he texted me today.

I saw a therapist for a year in undergrad when it was free. It helped. I doubt anyone will read this and even if they did, I doubt it will make sense. I don't know why I even posted this.