ok I am going to rant here right now…brace yourself!
Today, I had a good day until my father called. I had a huge programming issue but luckily I knocked it out and well, I was happy.
Then my father continues to remind how I should do amazon web service certification and scrum master certification. And then comes the talk of doing masters because the people at my company are doing their masters at some ivy league school and I hardly have anything planned.
I told him, with my poor past performance, I am not sure how I can even get it. I also told him that my focus right now is Microsoft and I don’t want to overload myself. Then the whole discussion with him leading to me focusing on masters went on, which killed my mood.
I think its the family pressure thats really eating me. In my Indian community, I am not whats known as, normal. Every Indian I’ve met is super intelligent but my intelligence is rather, different. I am not book smart like they are. For example, some of the people he knows have went to Carnegie mellon, within 5 years they did their BS and MS, then went off to working at google. Stories like these hurt me to the core because I can’t keep up with them. They’re different and very high on the socioeconomic hierarchy, which I am not.
2nd, being an indian with my traits is not normal. I told my father about this and how grad admission are going to harshly judge me based on the fact that I qualify as Asian, neglecting the disability factor or providing any sort of documentation for the late discovery.
So the conversation went on, with me completely upset. I went out for a walk but that didn’t help. All I did was not pay attention and nearly got hit by an oncoming car.
I don’t know, its one of those days.
It seems like you are doing well
Maybe but from my perspective, I am struggling because I can’t seem to focus on preparation for my Microsoft interview. I listed out some of the struggles here and here.
I think my only question would be, how can I even use my ADHD and aspergers to my advantage. There is some obsessive trait to it that I can leverage its strength. Only that way, I can succeed since time is very limited and I am busy nearly 50 hours a week.
If I can get some coping skills on how I can manage my day, I guess I am good to go.
As for the issue with my father, I don’t know how I am going to get over that. He doesn’t understand how I feel, he’s done is masters from a top school in India (almost comparable to MIT).
End rant, sorry.