As for the issues you mention, if I could combine them all together it would be low self image that leads you to seek validation and identification from others. Is this on the mark?

Yes, very low self image due to my lack of success with dating and relationships. I"m not being given any type of guidance on why I haven't been sucessful. Guys won't tell you what the problem is, instead they'll just use you for sex and then ghost when they're done.

"Do you have an idea of the perfect personality you would like to develop, like confident, gracious, patient, humble, etc... whatever traits you want? Any plans on developing those traits?"

I thought I already had those traits but apparently I don't. Again, nobody is helping me or telling me what the problem is. I just go out on dates, have a conversation, the guy presses for sex or some kind of sexual only relationship and then ghost on me. And the cycle repeats itself. So I'm desperately trying to fix myself, my appearance, so that I can have success...but its driving me crazy cause I dont know what to fix or not to fix.

"And how is your overall mental state? Do you often harbor or even agree with thoughts of self-harm, doubt or even suicide, even if things are externally well, more or less?"

Yes. I burst into tears out of nowhere. I cry a lot. I think of suicide. I can't sleep some nights. I start thinking about making sudden decisions that are not wise or healthy---like going to the Dominican Republic online to meet a guy for love. I'm all over the place.