Let's not lie, it doesn't need to be a foot longer, it's great as is. I don't know, but I personally hate having an "if-only" mentality; and I do: If only my hair would sit the way it would, if only I was slimmer, musclier, taller... I think that this frame of mind that I often fall victim to often hinders my own appreciation for what's there, y'know? I'm not saying that, if it were a foot longer, it wouldn't look great: but "If-only" is casual, it is hopeful, it is - for all intents and purposes, to a certain degree - realistic, but it is, to quote Wayne from Letterkenny - almost not worth thinking about.

There are a few things I try not to do. Firstly, feeling self conscious - or, more explicitly, embarrassed. I think I was in between 11 and 13 when I realised that being embarrassed was, in such as simple a word, futile. It wasn't benefiting me or anybody else when I felt the surge of "everybody is looking at me" and "I'm making such a mess right now" and "Oh god I wish I hadn't have said that" and "Oh god I want to be anywhere else". I acknowledge that it's a very natural response (and developed to be a part of the human psychological condition to, overall, make humanity a little bit better as a whole (people feel embarrassed when they do "un-normal" things (which are, at they're most extreme, not only not normal but a danger to others and society), and to be normal is to survive, and to survive is, evolutionary, good)), but what benefit does that give me when I'm in a situation where I feel quite normal and I still feel embarrassed? Fuck. All. Squared. So I said to myself; "Just don't get embarrassed". It wasn't easy, but at this stage in my life I can realise, in real time, in an awkward conversation, the reasons why I should be embarrassed, quell the flush of blood to my face, continue to not feel embarrassment and continue with the interaction. Nonconstructive shame has no place in my life.

The second thing I try not to do is be lethargic in my free time - although for the most part I fail in this endeavour, but every little helps and I'm trying to combat that in my own way.

The third, I guess, would be to think in hypotheticalisms. If only I were the child of a billionaire, and I wouldn't have to do any of this menial shit. If only I were more motivated, I wouldn't have wasted the last three hours playing video games. If only I had more pronounced cheek bones, I wouldn't feel as awkward in social situations. These lines of reasoning, these trains of thought depart from their stations with no destinations. They are nice spectacles to behold; a theatre to my mind's eye, but overall leave me with a sense of despair, because; at the end of the day, I can't just materialise these realities.

To these tracks of reason I actively try and seek out their counterpart. If only I were the child of the absolutely impoverished, I would have to do even more woefully menial tasks. If I were more motivated, I wouldn't have enjoyed the last three hours playing video games. And if I were horribly, unfortunately horrifically disfigured, just maybe I'd feel no connection to my fellow humans at all. (Disclaimer, I am quite an average, nothing special about me, looking guy. I'm only hypothesising on how my brain would deal with being in a body that was, say, medically obese or unrecognisable as a de facto humaniod)

Though, to properly balance the equation, I try to subtract one side from the other, to see where I'm not, and where I am. I'm not the son or daughter of a billionaire nor am I the child of the unfortunately woefully impoverished, and I get paid at a suitable rate for the meniality of the tasks I execute. I am neither gorgeous nor am I hideous, (and with my try-and-try-again approach to not feeling anxiety over the little things I have no control over), I get on alright with other people.

To think if-only - I think - is to up your expectations of how life should be, and in doing so I don't think many people consider the opposite side - the "thankfully-not".

So, to conclude, if I may throw in my two cents (like I've being doing this whole quasi-drunken rant), I would recommend that you try and view if-only as an excursion of your mind, a rollercoaster for none of the senses - and also, spend some time to throw your mind into the perspective of somebody that has to clean up after the fun fair. At the end of the day, I guess be happy where you are.

Your hair won't look significantly better if it was a foot longer, nor would it look worse if it was twelve inches shorter.

You have great hair.

Don't disparage what greatness you have comparing it to a hypothetical.

And, on a final note, hair grows. Your hair will be a foot longer in time, and I'm sure it will look great then as it does now.

Drunk rant OUT. Have a nice day :)